A hat down the river

(Stanislaus´ first memory)

 I need to know how to remember

There was this man

I just saw it from the back and he was running

He never stopped

But his running was necessary to be seen

Not because of he

But because the way he allowed me to see the landscape

The monumental landscapes

The texture of the earth

And the beautiful harmony of every movement

If at the beginning I was weird it out by the whole situation

Once I understood

Or believed that I understood

I stopped thinking and gave myself to my eyes

And followed him trough

I cannot describe how empty everything was felt

None of the places

The mountains

The curves

The cliffs

The escapes

None of the textures of the ground were soft

Everything called to a natural roughness

Hard to the hands and the feet

But the man

That never looked back

Was enduring his path

Owner of a destiny of the space

I followed

Astonished

Witnessing my own surprise in a pure sense of freedom

If I’m not mistaken

most of the race

or the chase

was in the night

because the man was always in the center of an illuminated focus

before that trance

I was walking through a valley

Looking at the sky

Attentive

Right up there in the center

Two big jets crashing against each other

But I know now that I was witnessing that

Because I have left my girlfriend at the airport hours before

And I have always seen jets crashing against everything

But this crash was specially beautiful

They do not exploded in regular manner trowing pieces of metal

And flesh and smoke

In all directions

Instead

I saw the waves of the explosion became little cirrus clouds

Moving away from the center

Just as air moved apart by the force of the wind

But I continued to walk

With no fear

No pain

No memories

Until I got trapped in this visual wonder

That I can poorly describe

And I guess

Now

That was underground

In the most terrific tunnel

Behind a man of strange qualities and superb strengths

In the middle of the light

Where he took care of pointing to the corners that I needed to see

Apparently I needed to be aware of that

But those were mostly rocks

Little pebbles

Crevices

His own tracks

I looked at them

Obedient to his will

Observing

Not finding the reason why

Not caring

In one occasion

Before entering in a curve

He extended both of his arms to his right

And touched the surface of the wall

And as he was running and touching

Little particles of dust went airborne

What was the point of that I never knew

And he entered in a curve

And inside that curve

He curved

Delicately

To get out of the center of my view

Disappearing

Letting me see the mouth of the tunnel

Which I trespassed to see the valley

Down there were two rivers

Running in the same direction

Next to each other

But one was turbid

And the other one translucent

I got closer

Much closer

I have forgotten already that man back then

But there was something odd happening in the clear waters

It was a hat down the river

Flowing graciously

Calling my attention

Asking me something

And started to run over the stoned wall that separated the rivers

And as closer I got

I started to see a shape under the hat

And the closer I got

The most familiar I felt with that shape

Immobile

Letting itself being taken by the waters

The whirls

Bubbles of all sizes

And leaves

And I saw the man

He looked like a drowned

Down the river

Attached to his floating hat

But he had the expression of someone that die of happiness

There wasn’t any sign of earthly heaviness in his body

I tried to get him

But the only thing I recovered was his hat

And when I grabbed it the man started to sink

To be taken by deeper currents of smooth tenderness

He faded away

This time in the center

And the farther he disappeared

The deeper he penetrated my sight

Sometimes I think that it wasn’t that way

That when I got the hat

He came out of the water

And started to go away with the wind

But it doesn’t matter now

I was standing right there

And I needed to continue my trip

The waters of the rivers

Followed their course

I went back to the road

Full of peace

Hat on

No thoughts

Looking ahead

At the distance

Were it was a white horse

Eating grass

FreeA hat down the river

(Stanislaus)

I need to know how to remember

There was this man

I just saw it from the back and he was running

He never stopped

But his running was necessary to be seen

Not because of he

But because the way he allowed me to see the landscape

The monumental landscapes

The texture of the earth

And the beautiful harmony of every movement

If at the beginning I was weird it out by the whole situation

Once I understood

Or believed that I understood

I stopped thinking and gave myself to my eyes

And followed him trough

I cannot describe how empty everything was felt

None of the places

The mountains

The curves

The cliffs

The escapes

None of the textures of the ground were soft

Everything called to a natural roughness

Hard to the hands and the feet

But the man

That never looked back

Was enduring his path

Owner of a destiny of the space

I followed

Astonished

Witnessing my own surprise in a pure sense of freedom

If I’m not mistaken

most of the race

or the chase

was in the night

because the man was always in the center of an illuminated focus

before that trance

I was walking through a valley

Looking at the sky

Attentive

Right up there in the center

Two big jets crashing against each other

But I know now that I was witnessing that

Because I have left my girlfriend at the airport hours before

And I have always seen jets crashing against everything

But this crash was specially beautiful

They do not exploded in regular manner trowing pieces of metal

And flesh and smoke

In all directions

Instead

I saw the waves of the explosion became little cirrus clouds

Moving away from the center

Just as air moved apart by the force of the wind

But I continued to walk

With no fear

No pain

No memories

Until I got trapped in this visual wonder

That I can poorly describe

And I guess

Now

That was underground

In the most terrific tunnel

Behind a man of strange qualities and superb strengths

In the middle of the light

Where he took care of pointing to the corners that I needed to see

Apparently I needed to be aware of that

But those were mostly rocks

Little pebbles

Crevices

His own tracks

I looked at them

Obedient to his will

Observing

Not finding the reason why

Not caring

In one occasion

Before entering in a curve

He extended both of his arms to his right

And touched the surface of the wall

And as he was running and touching

Little particles of dust went airborne

What was the point of that I never knew

And he entered in a curve

And inside that curve

He curved

Delicately

To get out of the center of my view

Disappearing

Letting me see the mouth of the tunnel

Which I trespassed to see the valley

Down there were two rivers

Running in the same direction

Next to each other

But one was turbid

And the other one translucent

I got closer

Much closer

I have forgotten already that man back then

But there was something odd happening in the clear waters

It was a hat down the river

Flowing graciously

Calling my attention

Asking me something

And started to run over the stoned wall that separated the rivers

And as closer I got

I started to see a shape under the hat

And the closer I got

The most familiar I felt with that shape

Immobile

Letting itself being taken by the waters

The whirls

Bubbles of all sizes

And leaves

And I saw the man

He looked like a drowned

Down the river

Attached to his floating hat

But he had the expression of someone that die of happiness

There wasn’t any sign of earthly heaviness in his body

I tried to get him

But the only thing I recovered was his hat

And when I grabbed it the man started to sink

To be taken by deeper currents of smooth tenderness

He faded away

This time in the center

And the farther he disappeared

The deeper he penetrated my sight

Sometimes I think that it wasn’t that way

That when I got the hat

He came out of the water

And started to go away with the wind

But it doesn’t matter now

I was standing right there

And I needed to continue my trip

The waters of the rivers

Followed their course

I went back to the road

Full of peace

Hat on

No thoughts

Looking ahead

At the distance

Were it was a white horse

Eating grass

Free

Have u ever

made a blue painting on top of an antarctic glacier

while it melts down into oblivion?

I have

Mother

last night

you were there 

disappointed

pointing at my forgetfulness

at all that humane, despicable

and unforgivable mistakes

all these efforts 

the matter is changing gears

the sea inside us 

pushing us 

aside

u and I

departing

the ice breaking

the blue heart of 

everything

stuck

those

our trees in the park

The cat playing with its mice

Ants trapped in drops of honey

The river flowing to the fall

Where the lovers words will vanish

The silence

it’s time

I hope tomorrow

some seeds will make it

but we 

We will be out of light

like a burnt down little sun

in the middle of a black hole

gasping for helium